Friday, December 19, 2008
was super happie for the past two days..
tho everything was good n he's been really good.
but i was feeling super sick when i was over there
super heaty n feverish when i was slping those two nights.
but had no choice but to force myself to slp.
throat? drowns..
ulcer.. super huge yet still eating without abstinence..
water.. hmm.. kept drinking when i'm awake..
in short, just feeling sick lahr..
but still stuubborn go n look for him..
ended up the 40min walk is a TIRING one..
i had to like let the bangala walking in front of me to make sure tat i'm walking fast enuf..
otherwise the longer i take i will just end up dunwan to walk n sit anywher le sia..
n it's a damn eerie pl to walk alone at night..
duno will see any guai guai bangala or china ppl..
insects? dark jungles? haiz..
damn sad...
sick le still go find ppl..
n nt ppl come find me lahr..
tink smtimes i'm too over le..
keep gg over & slp wif him until i tink smone oso look down on me le..
damn sad.. damn sad.. !!!!!!!!!
haiz..
n the neverending vulgarities from him..
abit sick of it le leh..
tot at first i can also use vulgarities to fight back..
guess i haf no choice n haf to treat it like it's just the way we live wif each other kind..
hmm.. actually felt loved at times too leh..
the kiss on the forehead before he leaves the room.. it may be a small action but it definitely has left a deep impression..
lunches & dinners & maggi supper..
come n walk wif me despite tat short distance n my angry tone.. but i was really angry mah.. =(
hmm.. ate subway at WM.. but as usual leh.. everything stops at bkt batok.. looks like i nidta gif up hope le.. y cant he be free on wkdays? perhaps cheerleading is really killing everything.. n even if he doesnt haf cheerleading.. wad's the next ting tat will come to his mind? me? family? mj? frens? sighs.. my theory of ri jiu sheng qing.. ?!?!
how did we started?
a veri good qn tat every once in awhile i will start to qn myself..
but never got to noe y we gt tog? hahas..
i tink i'm crazy.. cos tis whole relationship.. i wan it to last yet i duno wad tis relationship is there for me? cos i tink i had all the wrong concepts to start wif. childish little ger? maybe. i nid smone to tok to me again.. =(
emo night maybe cos he said he will come over tonight if he plays mj.. but i dun get tat feeling leh.. yahr.. so duno how oso.. tot i will wan to meet him at night tmr.. n i go dwn myself tmr oso.. but the journey back is damn long n boring leh.. will he be altruistic n pei me in like 2hrs? sighs..
"i-duno-wad-to-do-situation" =(
silence or noise?
i chose silence tis time.
it's quite tiring if i keep pestering too...
maybe it's unfair to say lidat.. cos cabbing v.ex.. wells if tt's de case i duuunno lahr..
will there be anyone else tat will come just to pei me? i just nid a shoulder to lie on.. n slp on the way back.. entertaining i oso dun mind sia..
tho everything was good n he's been really good.
but i was feeling super sick when i was over there
super heaty n feverish when i was slping those two nights.
but had no choice but to force myself to slp.
throat? drowns..
ulcer.. super huge yet still eating without abstinence..
water.. hmm.. kept drinking when i'm awake..
in short, just feeling sick lahr..
but still stuubborn go n look for him..
ended up the 40min walk is a TIRING one..
i had to like let the bangala walking in front of me to make sure tat i'm walking fast enuf..
otherwise the longer i take i will just end up dunwan to walk n sit anywher le sia..
n it's a damn eerie pl to walk alone at night..
duno will see any guai guai bangala or china ppl..
insects? dark jungles? haiz..
damn sad...
sick le still go find ppl..
n nt ppl come find me lahr..
tink smtimes i'm too over le..
keep gg over & slp wif him until i tink smone oso look down on me le..
damn sad.. damn sad.. !!!!!!!!!
haiz..
n the neverending vulgarities from him..
abit sick of it le leh..
tot at first i can also use vulgarities to fight back..
guess i haf no choice n haf to treat it like it's just the way we live wif each other kind..
hmm.. actually felt loved at times too leh..
the kiss on the forehead before he leaves the room.. it may be a small action but it definitely has left a deep impression..
lunches & dinners & maggi supper..
come n walk wif me despite tat short distance n my angry tone.. but i was really angry mah.. =(
hmm.. ate subway at WM.. but as usual leh.. everything stops at bkt batok.. looks like i nidta gif up hope le.. y cant he be free on wkdays? perhaps cheerleading is really killing everything.. n even if he doesnt haf cheerleading.. wad's the next ting tat will come to his mind? me? family? mj? frens? sighs.. my theory of ri jiu sheng qing.. ?!?!
how did we started?
a veri good qn tat every once in awhile i will start to qn myself..
but never got to noe y we gt tog? hahas..
i tink i'm crazy.. cos tis whole relationship.. i wan it to last yet i duno wad tis relationship is there for me? cos i tink i had all the wrong concepts to start wif. childish little ger? maybe. i nid smone to tok to me again.. =(
emo night maybe cos he said he will come over tonight if he plays mj.. but i dun get tat feeling leh.. yahr.. so duno how oso.. tot i will wan to meet him at night tmr.. n i go dwn myself tmr oso.. but the journey back is damn long n boring leh.. will he be altruistic n pei me in like 2hrs? sighs..
"i-duno-wad-to-do-situation" =(
silence or noise?
i chose silence tis time.
it's quite tiring if i keep pestering too...
maybe it's unfair to say lidat.. cos cabbing v.ex.. wells if tt's de case i duuunno lahr..
will there be anyone else tat will come just to pei me? i just nid a shoulder to lie on.. n slp on the way back.. entertaining i oso dun mind sia..
1:49 AM
