Friday, January 9, 2009
alrights he just left lidat.
i even had to chase after him just to get my goodbye kiss.
today is the 2nd worst day ever since yr 2009 has started. or perhaps the first time i'm actin abnormally in yr 2009. i just really feel ____. i've been saying tonnes n tonnes but he never noes how i felt. anyways, he told me tat even if he do stg, i wun feel better. WTF! tis is just another one sentence that contributes to the pile of hurtful stuff he said.
i noe i've been irritating. but he's been slping since he came over. my god. i bet he was waiting for stg tis morning. i really needed him to tok. last time he said i just hafta give him half an hour n he will forget everything. i dun hafta keep asking him wad's wrong. but it's been one whole day le.
i noe he's been responding wif his eyes close. really responding except smtimes he feel back to slp. oh mann. i really hate tis kind of feeling. y izzit lidat? do we really haf communication problem?
i noe since the year started he's been doing well in this relationship. exceptionally totful at times. n making the effort to come over. let's hope a new year is a new good start for us again.
but today, i'm damn damn sad. he doesnt hug me he doesnt kiss me before he leaves. n he leaves so suddenly. like he wants to come den come he wans to go den go. i wasnt even prepared that he will leave so suddenly n alone n with the tot of not coming back anymroe tonight. i tot we cud go makan at the book shop auntie dere before he leaves back to hall. but i was all wrong. y cant he communicate with me about stuff? y cant he tok to me n plans his time wif me n not make me accept his plans all the time? it's like he has planned everything n din even ask for my opinion.
i noe. gers shud be ignorant n silly. just listen n we will be blissful. i noe if today i hadnt been soo fan, tings may be good. BUT can u imagine? after all that he sees me in such a state he never bothers to ask me y n wad happen? y i felt lidat? is he cud put a little more effort in understanding hwo i felt, communicating more wif me, tings will definitely be better.
tis one deadful photo has caused me so much unhappiness. y cant i be proud of him like how proud he is of himself? y cant he be proud of himself when it's a photo taken wif me? y cant he be proud of any photos tat he takes wif me? photos photos photos photos photos photos photos photos.. goodness.. i never tot it'll be such a big huha for not taking photos wif me.. when i realise he loves taking photos at times, he din ask me to i was damn pissed!!!!!!! n he neva tot abt making it up. making it up n not let me feel bad n regret. he never regreted not taking photos wif me tat night too. sighs.. sighs sighs...
i was totally fine after the porridge he cooked for me. he din noe hwo to but he still cooked. it's like the first time i left the kitchen for him n not beside him. but who noes, he still feels abit wadeva in his heart i guess.. sighs.. i really duno.. i tot i shud be the one who is feeling devastating.. now it's him giving me attitude.. y is it always end up lidat? can he just tok!!!!!!??????
i feel like disappearing from the earth! from the people i noe!
i even had to chase after him just to get my goodbye kiss.
today is the 2nd worst day ever since yr 2009 has started. or perhaps the first time i'm actin abnormally in yr 2009. i just really feel ____. i've been saying tonnes n tonnes but he never noes how i felt. anyways, he told me tat even if he do stg, i wun feel better. WTF! tis is just another one sentence that contributes to the pile of hurtful stuff he said.
i noe i've been irritating. but he's been slping since he came over. my god. i bet he was waiting for stg tis morning. i really needed him to tok. last time he said i just hafta give him half an hour n he will forget everything. i dun hafta keep asking him wad's wrong. but it's been one whole day le.
i noe he's been responding wif his eyes close. really responding except smtimes he feel back to slp. oh mann. i really hate tis kind of feeling. y izzit lidat? do we really haf communication problem?
i noe since the year started he's been doing well in this relationship. exceptionally totful at times. n making the effort to come over. let's hope a new year is a new good start for us again.
but today, i'm damn damn sad. he doesnt hug me he doesnt kiss me before he leaves. n he leaves so suddenly. like he wants to come den come he wans to go den go. i wasnt even prepared that he will leave so suddenly n alone n with the tot of not coming back anymroe tonight. i tot we cud go makan at the book shop auntie dere before he leaves back to hall. but i was all wrong. y cant he communicate with me about stuff? y cant he tok to me n plans his time wif me n not make me accept his plans all the time? it's like he has planned everything n din even ask for my opinion.
i noe. gers shud be ignorant n silly. just listen n we will be blissful. i noe if today i hadnt been soo fan, tings may be good. BUT can u imagine? after all that he sees me in such a state he never bothers to ask me y n wad happen? y i felt lidat? is he cud put a little more effort in understanding hwo i felt, communicating more wif me, tings will definitely be better.
tis one deadful photo has caused me so much unhappiness. y cant i be proud of him like how proud he is of himself? y cant he be proud of himself when it's a photo taken wif me? y cant he be proud of any photos tat he takes wif me? photos photos photos photos photos photos photos photos.. goodness.. i never tot it'll be such a big huha for not taking photos wif me.. when i realise he loves taking photos at times, he din ask me to i was damn pissed!!!!!!! n he neva tot abt making it up. making it up n not let me feel bad n regret. he never regreted not taking photos wif me tat night too. sighs.. sighs sighs...
i was totally fine after the porridge he cooked for me. he din noe hwo to but he still cooked. it's like the first time i left the kitchen for him n not beside him. but who noes, he still feels abit wadeva in his heart i guess.. sighs.. i really duno.. i tot i shud be the one who is feeling devastating.. now it's him giving me attitude.. y is it always end up lidat? can he just tok!!!!!!??????
i feel like disappearing from the earth! from the people i noe!
7:05 PM
