Tuesday, January 6, 2009
hmm.. these few days i've been thinkin n thinking..
as it gets further from that day of loneliness, i feel better.. but in a way, i think i'm not facing it in the right way.. i duno wad is the right way or wrong way.. in any case, i'm not gonna let myself end up with the kind of loneliness ever again... esp when he's just close to me.. i'll try to get close to him lor.. (tat day was quite tiring after the morning stuff, kept keeping close to him until at night, i totally stopped trying) WORST scenario, i'll find other ppl to keep me occupied lor.. guess the worst scenario worked some time ago. n i tink it's the best solution so far cos i'm the onli one tat tinks it's a prb, he don't.
alrights tings r getting back to normal... after like 2 / 3 days..
it struck me tat i wasnt a good gf smtimes too.. been quite attitude.. n tat's cos i cant tolerate the kind of ignorance from him n loneliness he dunmped me in anymore.. n i really dun show alot publicly too.. i tot i will love those guys who show it openly even in front of their frens.. but bcos my boy isnt de kind.. i just stop doing anything too.. it's quite amusing if i'm the only one er yahr.. so wells, i duno how to make tis better without his efforts too.. hahas.. it's like taking photos oso cannot.. how else can i like.. yahr..
n i still cant get appeased wif the photo ting.. u din wan to wear until lidat tat day too.. it's ur mum forced u too.. n if normal days u bother to dress up abit.. everyday will be super shuai day.. but regardless, taking photos are just capturing moments... it's stg tat i might be able to rely on once u go norway too.. i still cant believe i haf such a ah gong bf.. still act camera shy sm more.. HAIZ.. i'm quite sick of toking to him smtimes too.. cos tok le oso like tok to wall lidat.. cos ntg will be done too.. n he always try to argue wif me n win in his arguments.. it's like "NO" i cant be like those sai nai gerger; he can't lyk joke n just do the silly tings.. SILLY THINGS! what silly things have he done for me?
*ponders*
*ponders*
*ponders*
*ponders*
*ponders*
*ponders*
cant tink of anything much.. perhaps my b'dae tat once was the only time.. =) sweet memories left.. maybe mine wasnt sweet enuf to him lahr.. -.-
but i tink i'm the really silly one in this relationship.. perhaps the one tat is at the losing end in tis relaitonship too.. cos ppl usually say te more silly tings u do.. the more yahr..
let's see..
1. i did alot of handmade stuff.. all my effort in it..
2. i went to his hall, not letting him noe.. bought him cough syrup n the water jug.. n left quietly not letting him now..
3. i go over to his hall at ungodly hours.. missing the last bus to his skool not only once but twice.. walked for 40mins to reach his skool.. the previous time was stranded in jurong east stn.. took a bus tat doesnt reach anywher near his skool.. hafta walked in sm ulu area den take a cab.. (the most silly ting i've done, missing all the tranport)
4. go over to his hall countless number of times, wait for him to finish his lesson, his cheerleading trn, n wadeva other trns, n his pageant preview... (add up all tog, i duno how many days i spent on waiting)
i dun tink i wanna continue tinking le.. wait tot of stg worse.. yahr.. n i;m tired le.. tink better go do my matrices n assignment den off i go to bed le.. yupyup.. dun tink wanna tok to him over the phone le.. cos i oso duno wad time he finish.. yahr.. my energy is totally burnt.. no more left after the continuos mugging of twodays.. n more is expected to come.. =(
oh mann.. i bought a mechanical pencil today.. was using the multi coloured one until my hand super painful... n i bought an expensive one.. hahas.,. abit farni oso.. onli left half a yr n i dun need it anymore lahr.. hahas..
headache just wun go away.. =(
as it gets further from that day of loneliness, i feel better.. but in a way, i think i'm not facing it in the right way.. i duno wad is the right way or wrong way.. in any case, i'm not gonna let myself end up with the kind of loneliness ever again... esp when he's just close to me.. i'll try to get close to him lor.. (tat day was quite tiring after the morning stuff, kept keeping close to him until at night, i totally stopped trying) WORST scenario, i'll find other ppl to keep me occupied lor.. guess the worst scenario worked some time ago. n i tink it's the best solution so far cos i'm the onli one tat tinks it's a prb, he don't.
alrights tings r getting back to normal... after like 2 / 3 days..
it struck me tat i wasnt a good gf smtimes too.. been quite attitude.. n tat's cos i cant tolerate the kind of ignorance from him n loneliness he dunmped me in anymore.. n i really dun show alot publicly too.. i tot i will love those guys who show it openly even in front of their frens.. but bcos my boy isnt de kind.. i just stop doing anything too.. it's quite amusing if i'm the only one er yahr.. so wells, i duno how to make tis better without his efforts too.. hahas.. it's like taking photos oso cannot.. how else can i like.. yahr..
n i still cant get appeased wif the photo ting.. u din wan to wear until lidat tat day too.. it's ur mum forced u too.. n if normal days u bother to dress up abit.. everyday will be super shuai day.. but regardless, taking photos are just capturing moments... it's stg tat i might be able to rely on once u go norway too.. i still cant believe i haf such a ah gong bf.. still act camera shy sm more.. HAIZ.. i'm quite sick of toking to him smtimes too.. cos tok le oso like tok to wall lidat.. cos ntg will be done too.. n he always try to argue wif me n win in his arguments.. it's like "NO" i cant be like those sai nai gerger; he can't lyk joke n just do the silly tings.. SILLY THINGS! what silly things have he done for me?
*ponders*
*ponders*
*ponders*
*ponders*
*ponders*
*ponders*
cant tink of anything much.. perhaps my b'dae tat once was the only time.. =) sweet memories left.. maybe mine wasnt sweet enuf to him lahr.. -.-
but i tink i'm the really silly one in this relationship.. perhaps the one tat is at the losing end in tis relaitonship too.. cos ppl usually say te more silly tings u do.. the more yahr..
let's see..
1. i did alot of handmade stuff.. all my effort in it..
2. i went to his hall, not letting him noe.. bought him cough syrup n the water jug.. n left quietly not letting him now..
3. i go over to his hall at ungodly hours.. missing the last bus to his skool not only once but twice.. walked for 40mins to reach his skool.. the previous time was stranded in jurong east stn.. took a bus tat doesnt reach anywher near his skool.. hafta walked in sm ulu area den take a cab.. (the most silly ting i've done, missing all the tranport)
4. go over to his hall countless number of times, wait for him to finish his lesson, his cheerleading trn, n wadeva other trns, n his pageant preview... (add up all tog, i duno how many days i spent on waiting)
i dun tink i wanna continue tinking le.. wait tot of stg worse.. yahr.. n i;m tired le.. tink better go do my matrices n assignment den off i go to bed le.. yupyup.. dun tink wanna tok to him over the phone le.. cos i oso duno wad time he finish.. yahr.. my energy is totally burnt.. no more left after the continuos mugging of twodays.. n more is expected to come.. =(
oh mann.. i bought a mechanical pencil today.. was using the multi coloured one until my hand super painful... n i bought an expensive one.. hahas.,. abit farni oso.. onli left half a yr n i dun need it anymore lahr.. hahas..
headache just wun go away.. =(
10:47 PM
