Friday, January 9, 2009
hmm... glad smone was there to tok to me..
smone who is just like me.. but manage to cope it better.. maybe cos dey juz started, maybe not.. wadeva it is.. now i am determined to study hard again.. after toking to the person..
thru the tok, it brought me back to realisation that we cant change a person. i admit i've been trying to tell him to do this, shud do that. the more he's relunctant to change, the more i wan to change him. but the big big logic in tis world is tat we cant change a person. we just hafta keep it to ourselves, everything.
in anycase, yup. proven. he's a self-ctred person. in the past, i hope to tink tat he's not n he will treat me differently. sometimes he really did. i dun deny that he;sbeen treating me quite wellrecently. but actually, it's a naive tot.
what makes everything a sad ting is tat he just let me alone myself to cry myself. he said nothing. dumpedme in the car.
like i've always said to ppl, it's either u accept or leave. i wanna accept but at times like today i keep everyting to myself until i cant take it le need to let go. but haiz.
alrights hahas.. baileys baileys time time!!!!!!!!!
hmm.. having rashes everywher now. n came to realise actually i'mtoking rubbishwhen i;mtoking to him just now. it may seeemto him tat i make a big issue out of everything just to get attention just to.. haiz.. wells wad has been said is said.. hurt him.. n he hurt metoo.. i really haf yet to learn to accept a person like himi guess. BUT the main thing is i realised i wasnt upset about all those i've said. but i'm more upset about the attitude he has towards me.
all the bullshit ideal love life i wan actually it's difficult to get. n he bothered to msg hx but not me. i tot i will rcv hi msg. but wells i guess he's really too used to me finding him back. calling him back even after i cut the phone. he will just wait for me to do so. n hoenstlyy i'm tired after doing it all the time. y izzit or y cant he just make the first move?
hmm... wells.. realisation..
it may be difficult for him to care for me at such times when he's busy wif cheerleading n stuff. maybe i'm just not understanding enuf despite so many events of him being so busy. guess army, pageant n cheerleading. so far i've onli succeeded army. the strength to continue supporting him, hard to harness. it's difficult to expect me to accomodate to his busy scheduleall the time. the energy to support n accomodate. it doesnt come just by itself.
wells. guess it's just a big deep shit tat i got myself into n i duno how to resolve it anymore.
smone who is just like me.. but manage to cope it better.. maybe cos dey juz started, maybe not.. wadeva it is.. now i am determined to study hard again.. after toking to the person..
thru the tok, it brought me back to realisation that we cant change a person. i admit i've been trying to tell him to do this, shud do that. the more he's relunctant to change, the more i wan to change him. but the big big logic in tis world is tat we cant change a person. we just hafta keep it to ourselves, everything.
in anycase, yup. proven. he's a self-ctred person. in the past, i hope to tink tat he's not n he will treat me differently. sometimes he really did. i dun deny that he;sbeen treating me quite wellrecently. but actually, it's a naive tot.
what makes everything a sad ting is tat he just let me alone myself to cry myself. he said nothing. dumpedme in the car.
like i've always said to ppl, it's either u accept or leave. i wanna accept but at times like today i keep everyting to myself until i cant take it le need to let go. but haiz.
alrights hahas.. baileys baileys time time!!!!!!!!!
hmm.. having rashes everywher now. n came to realise actually i'mtoking rubbishwhen i;mtoking to him just now. it may seeemto him tat i make a big issue out of everything just to get attention just to.. haiz.. wells wad has been said is said.. hurt him.. n he hurt metoo.. i really haf yet to learn to accept a person like himi guess. BUT the main thing is i realised i wasnt upset about all those i've said. but i'm more upset about the attitude he has towards me.
all the bullshit ideal love life i wan actually it's difficult to get. n he bothered to msg hx but not me. i tot i will rcv hi msg. but wells i guess he's really too used to me finding him back. calling him back even after i cut the phone. he will just wait for me to do so. n hoenstlyy i'm tired after doing it all the time. y izzit or y cant he just make the first move?
hmm... wells.. realisation..
it may be difficult for him to care for me at such times when he's busy wif cheerleading n stuff. maybe i'm just not understanding enuf despite so many events of him being so busy. guess army, pageant n cheerleading. so far i've onli succeeded army. the strength to continue supporting him, hard to harness. it's difficult to expect me to accomodate to his busy scheduleall the time. the energy to support n accomodate. it doesnt come just by itself.
wells. guess it's just a big deep shit tat i got myself into n i duno how to resolve it anymore.
11:49 PM
