Monday, April 20, 2009
hmm.. was toking to my mummy..
now i realise,
is this really what i want?
even tho i noe i'll be a little bu shuang about?
cos i'm starting to see all the possible future prbs again!
i noe it's ntg wrong for him to think that way.
but maybe it's just not what i truly wanted.
the kind of relationship that i wanted only occurs in dramas.
i'm just living in a world on my own, hoping that time can change him.
age will affect one's thinking. i doubt he's the kind.
settledown? nope he has never tot about that.
hearing ppl having so big views about their future.. i start to ask what's my future?
n when i dun haf an ans, cos my ideal future n his future doesnt seem to coincide at all.
on the brighter side,
u can say we both haf the same views.
happie, tat's most impt.
but apparently i wan to be happie so much so that i become unhappie =(
am i really just soo wrong to bring this up when i noe he's not changing a tinge bit of his opinions? his dreams? cos everything also not very impt?
read this newspaper article just now.
it says, husband dun need wife. children cry, husband oso dun care. it's time to gif hope on him.
n honestly, my hopes has been dashed long time ago. just that i hide everything behind me. dun wanna go think abt it. tot it'll be good for the both of us. but hiding behind doesnt mean forget~!
do you really need me in your life?
if no ( which i highly think it's this, but i just wan u to say it out from your mouth n i'll be heart dead. i'll let u go!!!), pls tell me. end the sorrows early before things get deeper n more complicated.
if yes, i'll be glad i'm still someone whose world n ur world is still the same one.
hmm times like this is redundant. i shudnt even haf tot about it. but i just dun wan to regret in the future. to be wif someone who doesnt really love me alot alot, like loove of his life.. n deprive me of any other chance of letting someone who loves me alot alot n does alot for me n plans the future for me to be with me.
i noe
even how many more years down the road,
his tots will never change.
am i on the right track? leading to my beautiful future?
i haf no other complains about him just that i dunno y i so bu shuang.
i'm veri insecure.
maybe not cos of the gers, but he himself.
to say he's not showing that he cares, it's wrong oso.
cos indeed he tried to care the slightest bit.
just that it's not like those in the drama wher it's really hong hong lie lie.
sad means sad
hppie means happie
i tink he's just a monotonous feeling guy.
right?
whenever i tried to ask myself qns.
i shud be able to come up wif the ans.
but trust me, i always noe his ans.
it doesnt rally bother him.
it doesnt matter.
hence all the time, for the sake of hearing super negative stuff from him just to end the relationship these few times. it's just ntg. u noe, "what's the point if...?" this sentence has given me the courage.. after so many times.. upon hearing this again, i will choose the path. cos if i really mean ntg to him. no point holding so tightly.
from yst until today, i've been trying very hard to be normal. but smtimes i haven sort out my tots i just dun wanna force myself to tok to him. hmm.. now everything kinds of repeated n i once again convinced myself that i shud be a nice gf n not disturb him during his exams. tho to him, it's not a disturbance at alll bah.. yupyupp..
so bu gan xin!!! =(
let's hope i can haf the super big heart to compromise n accomodate him for a long long time!
now i realise,
is this really what i want?
even tho i noe i'll be a little bu shuang about?
cos i'm starting to see all the possible future prbs again!
i noe it's ntg wrong for him to think that way.
but maybe it's just not what i truly wanted.
the kind of relationship that i wanted only occurs in dramas.
i'm just living in a world on my own, hoping that time can change him.
age will affect one's thinking. i doubt he's the kind.
settledown? nope he has never tot about that.
hearing ppl having so big views about their future.. i start to ask what's my future?
n when i dun haf an ans, cos my ideal future n his future doesnt seem to coincide at all.
on the brighter side,
u can say we both haf the same views.
happie, tat's most impt.
but apparently i wan to be happie so much so that i become unhappie =(
am i really just soo wrong to bring this up when i noe he's not changing a tinge bit of his opinions? his dreams? cos everything also not very impt?
read this newspaper article just now.
it says, husband dun need wife. children cry, husband oso dun care. it's time to gif hope on him.
n honestly, my hopes has been dashed long time ago. just that i hide everything behind me. dun wanna go think abt it. tot it'll be good for the both of us. but hiding behind doesnt mean forget~!
do you really need me in your life?
if no ( which i highly think it's this, but i just wan u to say it out from your mouth n i'll be heart dead. i'll let u go!!!), pls tell me. end the sorrows early before things get deeper n more complicated.
if yes, i'll be glad i'm still someone whose world n ur world is still the same one.
hmm times like this is redundant. i shudnt even haf tot about it. but i just dun wan to regret in the future. to be wif someone who doesnt really love me alot alot, like loove of his life.. n deprive me of any other chance of letting someone who loves me alot alot n does alot for me n plans the future for me to be with me.
i noe
even how many more years down the road,
his tots will never change.
am i on the right track? leading to my beautiful future?
i haf no other complains about him just that i dunno y i so bu shuang.
i'm veri insecure.
maybe not cos of the gers, but he himself.
to say he's not showing that he cares, it's wrong oso.
cos indeed he tried to care the slightest bit.
just that it's not like those in the drama wher it's really hong hong lie lie.
sad means sad
hppie means happie
i tink he's just a monotonous feeling guy.
right?
whenever i tried to ask myself qns.
i shud be able to come up wif the ans.
but trust me, i always noe his ans.
it doesnt rally bother him.
it doesnt matter.
hence all the time, for the sake of hearing super negative stuff from him just to end the relationship these few times. it's just ntg. u noe, "what's the point if...?" this sentence has given me the courage.. after so many times.. upon hearing this again, i will choose the path. cos if i really mean ntg to him. no point holding so tightly.
from yst until today, i've been trying very hard to be normal. but smtimes i haven sort out my tots i just dun wanna force myself to tok to him. hmm.. now everything kinds of repeated n i once again convinced myself that i shud be a nice gf n not disturb him during his exams. tho to him, it's not a disturbance at alll bah.. yupyupp..
so bu gan xin!!! =(
let's hope i can haf the super big heart to compromise n accomodate him for a long long time!
11:26 PM
